


His, His, and Theirs

by dannihowell (iguessicantry)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Broken Families, Domestic, M/M, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 21:40:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6441859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iguessicantry/pseuds/dannihowell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan’s a widower and father of three. Phil’s a recent divorcee with children of his own. It seems the world keeps pushing them together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

The morning had started out brilliantly as usual. Nadia spent the better part of the morning in the bathroom, Robbie refused to get up on time and Shay, the youngest decided she could pour the milk on her own and made a mess all over the kitchen floor. It was easy to say that Dan was exhausted by the time he started his morning commute on the tube.

Dressed in his suit and tie, Dan seamlessly blended in with the rest of the commuters on London’s underground. Feeling somewhat comfortable knowing he had at least 30 minutes to kill, Dan shifted in his seat and let his head fall back onto the wall of the train car. He closed his eyes for a little much needed rest.

—-

“What happened? She’s what? No. No… I’m on my way.”

Phil’s own morning started with a bang… really more of a whimper. He rushed out of bed as soon as he ended the call. He tripped trying to put on his pants too quickly and he left with his shoelaces untied. His ex-wife’s younger sister had called him and told him about what had happened that morning. Claudia was on her way to work as a nurse when another driver ran a red light and collided with her at high speed. She was in critical condition and in surgery. The kids hadn’t yet woken up for school.

Running into Accident and Emergency, Phil found Emily, his ex-sister-in-law, talking to the doctor then quite suddenly falling to her knees and weeping loudly. Phil found himself by her side within seconds and he helped her up as the doctor tried to console her as well.

“We tried everything,” the female surgeon said, looking at them both solemnly. “I’m sorry.”

Phil didn’t even hear the last two words as Emily set into a new set of sobbing. He held her close to his chest with both arms, letting her cry into his already wet clothing.

—-

“Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!”

“What would you like, Dan? Coffee?”

“Val, do not test me today,” Dan said only half seriously. “I swear, I haven’t had a full night’s sleep since… after the honeymoon.”

The red-head smirked before she asked, “You didn’t sleep on your honeymoon?”

Dan only smiled as he tipped the mug to his mouth and sipped at the wonderfully warm beverage. “Did you sleep on your honeymoon?” he asked smugly.

“Oh, you are naughty. That’s why we get along.”

With a laugh, the two of them said goodbye and went back to work.

Dan worked in a publisher’s office, working alongside the marketing department and the authors of the books they sold. He was middle-man who handled communication between the two branches of the large enterprise. It was a more than decent job with respectable pay. If an author was smart, they would make friends with Dan to get ahead because truly, he was important.

But even more importantly, Dan could provide for his family, which was his main prerogative. After his partner, Jason, died of pancreatic cancer years earlier, Dan became a single parent, mourning the loss of his husband. That was hard enough without also losing more than half the family’s income.

As bad it had gotten for him, Dan soon picked himself up and managed to have a successful career and an incredible relationship with all three of his children. The oldest, Nadia, was turning sixteen in just a few days and already was an amazing help to Dan. She had a natural way of comforting everyone in the family, she understood and Dan could swear she resembled Jason in many ways, though they were not biologically related. With pin straight black hair, porcelain skin and a simply pretty face, Nadia would be a great beauty. Dan was completely dreading it.

Their son, Robbie, on the other hand was all Dan. He completely hated school, procrastinated everything possible and at age ten, was by far the most sarcastic child you would ever meet. Dan loved him to bits. And then there was Shay, the baby. At seven, she had Dan wrapped around her little finger. Dan would buy her the moon if she asked for it. Her hair grew in ringlets, tight bunches of curls, and her eyes were a sparkling color of hazel-green. If ever the was evidence of angels roaming the Earth, Shay would be Dan’s testament to that very fact.

Dan liked to think of his family as a mosaic. Each piece had its own color and origin, its own history and heritage. He was Caucasian and English while his late-husband was from Indonesia. Nadia was adopted from Indonesia, Robbie’s birth parents were unknown though they guessed he was Caucasian as well and Shay’s mother was Filipino while her father was black. With all these colorful pieces, Dan had fancied their mosaic a beautiful piece of art, until one piece fell off and smashed into a million pieces. Dan often wondered if they would ever feel complete again.

—-

Phil hadn’t taken any calls from anyone in about 72 hours. The grief had finally hit him hard. He didn’t drink or smoke or really do anything that he could use as crutch. All he had were family photos and the wedding band he had stopped wearing just a year earlier even though the divorce was three years earlier.

Getting out of bed, Phil made his way to the kitchen to find something that was even just a little edible. As he open the fridge door he could smell that something had gone stale despite being lock in a cold box. Trying not to wretch, Phil sought out the terrible smell and threw the carton of blackened cold cuts and the milk as well as some strawberries that simply need to go. After he’d done all that, Phil still felt the terrible pain of hunger and went to the phone hanging on the wall. Pizza was better than nothing. As soon as he hit the first number, his doorbell rang.

Phil trudged into the foyer and looked out the frosted glass before opening the door. Stood before him was an angry Emily and his two kids.

“Hey,” he said, a little surprised.

“Where’s your phone?” Emily charged at him, entering his house.

“It died a few days ago.” Phil immediately cringed at his words.

“Did you lose the charger– You know what? I’m not even going to honor that. These are you children, yeah?”

“Yes.”

“And they’ve just lost their mother, Phil.”

Phil ran his fingers through his hair, looking up at the ceiling. “I know.”

“Then where the hell have you been?” she shouted at him.

“I–I…I…”

“What, Phil? What?” Huffing, Emily went back outside and brought in three suitcases as well as another box of things. Phil watched with the children, looking at the display of anger and strength.

“They live with you now. I have to go.”

Phil rushed after her as she made a quick advance back into her car. “I didn’t have custody,” he said desperately. “What am I supposed to do with them?”

“Raise them,” she retorted before slamming the door shut and reversing out of the driveway. Phil stood there for moment in shock. He didn’t know what to do with kids. Claudia asked for full custody when they got divorced and Phil let her. They were so much younger then. Phil barely knew them. He traveled extensively and couldn’t be held in any one place for too long. That was a large part of the divorce. Claudia said Phil was selfish and, frankly, he agreed. His work and his interests came first. Always.

Colin and Cara met him with empty gazes as he walked back into the house.

“I guess I should show you where you’ll be staying,” Phil started with a nervous smile. The children followed him up the stairs, into the spare room he’d kept for visitors. The bed was small and the room was very sparse and devoid of color.

“We’ll make it homier soon. I promise,” said Phil.

“This sucks,” Colin sneered at him.

Phil nodded.

—-

“Dan, have you gotten in touch with Lester. We need his thoughts on the layout of his new book,” Jerry asked, tapping on the door of Dan’s office.

“No, and I’ve tried everything to get in contact with him for the past week. I emailed and called,” Dan explained. “I even checked to see if he’s been admitted to the local hospitals.”

Jerry frowned. “Well, I suggest going over to the address we have on file. This is giving me cause for concern.”

Dan thought about everything he had to do after work and inwardly screamed. “Sir, I have absolutely no time to go after work. I hope you’ll understand.”

“Go during your lunch break and take the company car. The sooner we find out if he’s alive, the sooner we can get clearance on the layout.”

Nodding, Dan started to gather his things as his lunch break had started about ten minutes earlier.

Dan arrived at the house of Phil M. Lester, at ten past 1, and found a car in the driveway. The garden was well maintained and the postbox not even slightly ajar. Phil was alive and he had been home in the past few days.

Dan rang the bell twice before stepping and waiting someone to answer. To his surprise, it was a little girl.

“Hello,” she said timidly.

Dan smiled. “Hello. Is your daddy home?”

“Yes,” she nodded then disappeared. The door then opened wider to reveal a very tall man who looked already completely done with Dan the second he saw him.

“Yes?” he said.

“Hello, I’m Dan Howell from McDonough Publishing. We’ve had a bit of trouble getting in contact with you.”

“I didn’t know you made house calls,” Phil muttered.

“We don’t usually– May I come in to speak with you?”

Phil wordlessly invited Dan inside by opening the door and gesturing for him to come inside.

“So, I guess I should apologize for my disconnectedness,” Phil began, leading Dan into the living room. “My ex-wife recently passed away and it’s been hard to cope.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Dan replied genuinely. He paused to take in the information. “I know it’s really hard even think about work and all that when you’ve experienced a loss.” Dan cleared his throat. “I’ll let your publisher know and get you an extension and time for bereavement.”

Phil sat down in the sofa closest to the entry way and motioned for Dan to join him. “I don’t need that much time,” he said almost stubbornly. This led Dan to believe Phil was perhaps going back on the contract he’d signed with the publishers or perhaps he’d been working on his book before tragedy struck. “As soon as I get the kids resettled, I’ll be able to focus.”

“Resettled?” asked Dan curiously.

“Yes,” Phil nodded. “They’ll be living with their mother’s parents.”

“Oh,” Dan said softly in understanding.

Cara, who had been eavesdropping in the breezeway, made her presence known with a sniffle. Phil looked over at her and as soon as he stood to approach her, she scurried away into another room. Phil simply shrugged and sat on the sofa once again.

“Forgive me if I am being too nosy…” Dan began.

“Yes?”

“Why—why are you sending your children away?”

“That’s really my business, Mr. Howell.” Phil straightened up and looked Dan in the eye.

“I’m sorry,” Dan quickly apologized but his voice somewhat stern. “But when my partner died, I couldn’t imagine sending them to a new home at such a terrible time. You know? They craved that stability.”

“I see you point, Mr. Howell. That is exactly why they should be with their grandparents. They know them more than they know me. The sooner my in-laws get here, the better it’ll be for everyone involved. Okay?”

Dan nodded. Noticing Phil’s tenseness and the heavy nature of their situation, Dan decided to drop this. He really wasn’t one to make judgments on Phil’s life or his decisions.

“Look, I know we don’t know each other but if you need help or advice with anything, I’m happy to help. I’ve been through this and it’s really hard on the kids.”

“Okay,” Phil replied.

“Here’s my card. My mobile and my office number,” Dan explained, handing Phil a small white card with publishing company’s logo. “Anytime. I have three kids so I am well versed in 3 am emergencies and the like.”

Standing up, Phil took the card. He studied it for moment before leading Dan to the front door.

“Thanks.”

“Goodbye, Mr. Lester.”


	2. 2

“Dad!”

“What?!” Dan shouted back from his seat at the kitchen table. He was looking over some documents that a writer had sent through email. Dan always said he’d leave work at work but that never really stuck.

“Shay—Shay was in my make-up!” Nadia called back, clearly struggling with the child in question.

Dan let out an exasperated sigh. Neither of them should be wearing make-up as far as he’s concerned but especially his little baby girl. “Shayla, come here please!” he said in that firm father voice he’d perfected over the years.

Traipsing down the stairs with her face covered in light colored foundation and too red lip gloss was Shayla. Dan struggled to maintain firmness because what is cuter than a little girl covered in paint with a look of innocence stemming from her cherub cheeks and wide eyes.

“What have you done?” Dan asked as Shayla walked over to him and climbed into his lap.

“I used Nadia’s make-up.”

“Why?”

“Daddy, I just wanted to look like Nadia,” she replied sincerely.

“Why’s that?”

“Today, when Nadia walked me to school, the others laughed and said that she couldn’t be my sister because we don’t look alike. They said I lied.”

“Oh that’s silly. Lots of people don’t look like their siblings or even their parents.”

“But, Daddy, I don’t look like anybody. Robbie looks like you and Nadia looks like Papa did.”

“What do you mean by ‘looks like’?” Dan asked, having a slight inkling as to what the child might mean.

“Daddy, you know…” she whined at Dan.

“No, I don’t. You have to tell me.”

“I’m a different color.”

With Shay’s confirmation, Dan began to formulate a response. He finally came up with this. “Are you my daughter? My little muffin and snuggle bunny?”

“Yes,” she giggled.

“Even though you were adopted?”

“Yes,” Shay nodded confidently.

“Then that doesn’t change how much we love each other, right?”

“No.”

“Okay. Nadia and Robbie were adopted too, right?”

“Yes, like me.”

“Right, just like you. You all came from different places but you are family now. It doesn’t matter what Robbie looks like. He’ll still be your big brother, yeah?”

She nodded thoughtfully.

“And Nadia’s your sister and I’m your dad and none of us look like one another, do we?”

“No. Nadia’s prettier than you,” Shay giggled.

“Well, I think we’ll have to disagree on that one,” he joked. “No matter what anybody says, this is your family, no matter what you look like. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“And stay away for the make-up,” he suddenly remembered. “Go and have Nadia wash it off your face.”

Shay replied, “Okay! I don’t need make-up anyway. I’m beautiful with a more natural look.” With that, she hopped off her father’s lap and ran off.

“Seven year olds…” Dan muttered with a soft smile on his lips.

—-

Phil was clueless. After his ex-mother-in-law said that they didn’t have enough space or the strength to raise two young children, he was now officially Cara and Colin’s only guardian. To another person, it would make sense that their father would care for them just the same as any other parent but Phil couldn’t. Phil didn’t know his own children and the guilt of that very fact weighed heavily on him every time Cara ran away from him or Colin ignored him.

At the moment, he couldn’t even find them.

“Cara!” he called again. “I won’t hurt you. I promise! Colin? Where are you?”

Phil was starting to panic. How does someone lose track of two children in their own home. He’d checked everywhere they could’ve gotten into but could not find them.

“Kids?” he tried again unsuccessfully. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten so angry. Please come out.”

After another fifteen minutes of searching, Phil’s frustration and worry became overwhelming. He sorted through the pile of mail for that little white card. Phil contemplated calling some else but Dan had said he’d understand what his kids were going through and Dan actually had kids unlike the other people Phil knew.

When Dan picked up, he sounded as if he’d been startled awake and Phil regretted this already.

“Hello?” Dan said sleepily.

“Um… Hello, Mr. Howell. This is Phil Lester. You came to see me the other day at my house–,”

“Yes. Yes, I remember. What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry to wake you.”

“It’s fine. I still have work to do. I just dozed off for a bit. What’s going on, Phil?”

“I can’t find my kids,” Phil answered dejectedly, like a child waiting for punishment.

“You what?” Dan exclaimed.

“They’re hiding or they’ve run away. I’m not really sure either way.”

“How long have they been missing?”

“Only a few hours. I got angry and shouted at them. When I came back out to talk to them, they were gone. I’ve looked everywhere.”

“Okay,” Dan sighed. “Are any of their things missing?”

“Not that I can tell. Cara does carry a blanket around all the time. She’s really attached to it.”

“A comfort blanket?”

“Yeah.”

“Is it still there?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Okay. Phil, they’re still in the house. Are you sure you’ve looked everywhere?”

“Yes!”

Phil waited a while before Dan spoke again.

“I’m coming over.”

“You don’t have to–,”

“Nadia, you’re in charge!” Phil heard Dan shout on the other end of the line.

“I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes or so.”

—-

Dan grabbed his keys and warned Robbie that if his maths assignment wasn’t complete by the time he got back, “lazy child plus angry father would not have a happy result.”

He got to Phil’s faster then he’d even estimated. Immediately, Phil opened the door to let him in.

“Still haven’t found them?”

“No.”

Dan took a quick glance around the living area and the empty dining room. Phil came up behind him, wringing his hands.

“Why did you shout at them?” asked Dan softly. He appeared soft himself and willing to understand.

Phil sighed. “It sounds stupid now. They wouldn’t eat what I’d made and Colin had said something smart. He said I was a shit father and I said I was all he had. Cara started crying right then. When I realized what I’d done, I walked away to cool off.”

Dan let out a heavy breath. “It happens to the best of us, trust me.”

Phil nodded then said, “I don’t know where they could’ve gone. I checked everywhere they could get into.”

“Ah…” Dan vocalized. “Now we need to check the places you don’t think they could get into. Children have a knack for that kind of thing.”

“I checked every room except the office because it’s locked.”

“Do you have an attic or some other little hidden away places like that?”

“No.”

Dan thought for a moment as he walked up stairs with Phil following close behind.

“Where are their rooms?”

“They’re staying in the guestroom, that way.” Phil pointed left and Dan followed suit.

“Kids? Anybody in here?” There was no reply.

“I tried that,” Phil remarked.

“Shhh…”

Dan noticed how messy the room was in comparison to the rest of the house and how strange it was not to find toys everywhere. Then Dan bent down to Phil’s surprise. Crawling towards the bed, Dan cleared the way in front of him with his hands.

With his phone in hand, Dan was able to see under the bed skirt and bed frame. “Phil?” he muffled voice came.

“Yeah?”

“What are their names?”

“Cara and Colin.”

“Here they are, fast asleep.”

“What?”

Dan came back from under the bed and allowed Phil to take a look of his own. And Dan was right. They had crawled underneath the bed and had fallen asleep on the far side.

“Cara? Wake up,” Dan heard Phil say kindly.

There was a whine coming from one of the children and some movement. Phil stood back up looking relieved. Next came Cara and then Colin, who stared at Dan with contempt.

“I’ve been looking for you two all evening,” Phil laughed nervously. “Are you alright?”

They said nothing. Dan felt terrible. He hoped none of his children looked at him the way these two looked at Phil. They were terrified and couldn’t trust their own father.

“Well… um… since they’re okay, I should probably go,” Dan said.

“Really?” Phil asked, panicked. “Right this minute?”

“I can stay for a little while.”

Dan did stay for a little while. He talked to Cara until she was laughing. He conversed with Colin and agreed that Manchester was the best football team. They’re now best friends. He got Phil to talk to his children and he had a feeling it was possibly the first Phil ever had a real conversation with them. Dan even made a quick dinner for them all with the ingredients he found in the cupboard. When he was ready to go home to his own family, Phil promised to repay the favor with interest. Dan smiled with gentility and told him not to worry. He was sure they would meet again.


	3. 3

Dan had a fever. He was sure of it. The light coming in from the opened blinds was causing him more distress than usual so he brought the duvet over his head for a bit of respite. He promptly slipped into an uneasy sleep.

—-

The memorial had been typical, if one could use that word to describe it. Phil hadn’t said a single word and the others said it was either the enormous grief or his callousness. Phil’s former in-laws coddled the children and left him to his phone and whatever literature he could find in the house where everybody gathered afterwards. He hadn’t cried, of course. He wouldn’t. That was for the children and Claudia’s family, people whom she loved and loved her back. He knew he was being immature.

He didn’t care.

—

“Dad, aren’t you going to make breakfast?”

Dan felt a sharp pain behind his eyes as he slowly woke up. “Ugh… make cereal,” he croaked.

Nadia pushed the door in further and approached her father. Dan opened his eyes when he felt her presence.

“Dad?” she began. “You alright?”

“’m sick…” he replied drowsily.

“Yeah, what’s wrong?” Nadia asked rather expertly, laying her hand on Dan’s forehead and nodding.

“Hot and… ugh… cold… headache.”

The teenager frowned, feeling sorry for Dan. “What should I do?”

“Call Fi…” Dan trailed off, the sickness becoming over whelming.

“What? Call who?”

Nadia sought out Dan’s phone and did as he said.

—

Phil couldn’t believe he was actually doing this. He figured he owed Dan for what happened with Cara and Colin. After the girl he assumed was Dan’s daughter gave him the address, Phil got his own children in the car and drove the other man’s home. Apparently he was sick and called in the reserves for a bit of help.

Phil led Cara and Colin up the walkway to house #5 and knocked on the door. A boy answered with a suspicious look on his face.

“Who are you?” he asked slowly.

Phil coughed and looked around as if the answer was hiding in the overgrown shrubbery. Finally he said, “Phil. Your sister called me… uh… because your father is sick. Probably needs help with you all, I guess.”

“Nadia!” the boy shouted. “There’s creeper at the door for you!”

Colin giggled. Phil’s certain he’d never heard that sound before.

A girl appeared at the door next who promptly allowed them all inside. “Hi,” she said with a smile. “I’m Nadia. My dad’s upstairs and he says he’s really hot and cold at the same time. I’ll show you.”

He nodded and followed Nadia silently up the stairs of Dan’s house. This all seemed surreal. Was this something people actually do? Show up to help out of nowhere. Phil thought they hadn’t really known each other and this was way past professionalism.

Nadia turned a corner so Phil made sure to keep up with her. The house seemed much bigger than it looked outside. There was only one door and he could see into the room immediately. Dan was half covered with a thick duvet and pillows were strewn on the floor around the bed.

“Dad?” Nadia said, rousing the other man awake. “Phil’s here.”

“What?” Dan responded, half-dazed.

“Phil. I called him like you said. He’s here.”

Dan rolled over and muttered, “Fiona. Call Auntie Fiona” before falling into sleep again.

Nadia turned to Phil with realization. “Oh my god! Who are you?”

Phil opened his eyes wide in sudden fear of the girl and her suddenly shrill voice. “I’m a writer and your dad works for my publisher.”

“A random girl calls you to come over and help her sick father—a girl you’ve never met before—and you show up?!”

“I met Dan and I knew the number was his. I owe him. I thought he wanted me to repay him.”

Nadia huffed and looked back at her sleeping father. “Dad, wake up!” she said whined. “I didn’t call Aunt Fiona. I called Phil. Phil Lester.”

“Phil?” Dan mumbled. Then his eyes shot open. “Phil?” he asked again, this time clearly and surprised. Nadia nodded. Dan tried to sit up but failed on his own so Nadia gave him some assistance. Phil stood by awkwardly and watched on.

“God, I’m so confused. Why are you here, Phil?”

Phil cleared his throat and sighed. “Your daughter called me and said you were sick. I came to help.”

“Oh,” Dan exclaimed, a smile settling on his face. “Thank you.”

Phil let a little smile creep across his face.

 “Are Cara and Colin with you?”

“Yes,” Phil nodded.

Turning to Nadia, Dan said, “Let him help, okay. I can barely m-move. Show him where things are and make sure Robbie isn’t a complete little shit.”

Nadia giggled. “Alright, Dad. Do you need anything?”

“Toast,” he groaned.

“I can do that,” Phil announced, instantly feeling like he ruined a father-daughter moment. Dan smiled nevertheless.

Once Nadia had left Dan’s side, they both went back down stairs. It was then that Phil realized he was now responsible for the care of five children.

—-

“What can you make?” Shayla asked curiously, walking into the kitchen. She stopped short at the sight of Phil and the two new children in her home.

“Uh—Pancakes and eggs.” Phil looked in the fridge

“Oh! That’ll be good,” she smiled. Nadia returned to the kitchen with a twice bitten piece of toast.

“He just threw up,” she informed Phil, setting the plate in the sink.

Phil didn’t feel right leaving Dan upstairs by himself. Quickly, he decided to leave the cooking to Nadia who appeared to have a good head on her shoulders.

“Can you start making scrambled eggs?” he said and she nodded.

Phil left the kitchen and went back to Dan’s room. The other man was curled up on the bed, clutching his stomach.

“Hey, Dan? How badly do you feel now?”

“Ugh…”

“That bad, huh?”

Dan only groaned again which Phil attributed to the sickness and not his sense of humor.

“I think you have a flu or something,” Phil shrugged. “Um… that’s caused by a virus so medication won’t kill it… only make the symptoms feel less like shit.”

Dan said nothing so Phil continued.

“Eating is probably a good idea. You know? Like it… uh… gives your body energy and everything.”

Dan began snoring.

“Sleep is good too.” Phil replaced the duvet and tried to make Dan as comfortable as possible. He couldn’t help but think that he hadn’t cared for anyone this way in his entire life. It was strange. “I’ll handle our kids and everything. You just focus on getting some rest.”

Meanwhile, Nadia handled the breakfast of toast and eggs beautifully. For sixteen, she was composed, something Dan always cherished after Jason’s death. Shayla became fast friends with Cara and promised to show her the Lego set Dan had bought for her birthday. She adamantly asked for building blocks and not dollies or anything like that. Colin found interest in Robbie’s footie team and as soon as they were done with their breakfast, they were off into the back garden to play.

Phil returned from Dan’s room and decided to eat a little himself.

“Dad likes you.”

“Hmm… What?” Phil choked.

“He likes you,” Nadia explained. “Like, _like like_ …” She raised her eyebrows in emphasis.

Phil stared at her before taking a sip of juice.

“He gets crushes all the time.”

“And you always notice?”

She smiled proudly. “Though, it’s never been this obvious. Dad likes to keep that sort of thing from us. Understandable.”

“Of course.”

“And he’s still in love with our other father but he’s done grieving now you see.”

“Yes,” Phil nodded.

“And I know you like him too.”

“W-What?”

“Who else called my father in the middle of the night with an emergency? Nobody. You were the one my dad told us about. You had a bit of trouble with your kids. Then, today when I called you, by accident, you show up and you smile at him with a smile I haven’t seen since my father died.”

“What are you saying,–?”

“Nadia.”

“Yes. What are you saying, Nadia?”

“That I notice everything,” she smiled.

“Then you’d know, I’m not gay.” Phil took a bite of his eggs.

“You certainly aren’t straight,” Nadia giggled.

“You’re rather rude, you know that?”

Nadia frowned. “I didn’t mean to be.” She took a deep breath. “I want my dad to be happy and a little romance might be nice,” she said with a shrug. “You do like him?”

“Dan? Me like Dan?” Phil could have sworn he was in some sort of teen drama, one with love triangles and unexpected pregnancies.

“Yes,” Nadia said, rolling her eyes.

“He’s very nice. Looks after me even though he barely knows me. He has very pleasant laugh. Cooks pretty well I must say,” Phil rambled on.

“He’s handsome too, huh?”

“Oh yes,” Phil quickly agreed before covering his mouth in surprise at his own speech. “I didn’t say that.”

Nadia laughed and stood up from the table. Her black hair was braided in two and she flipped them over her shoulder as she spoke. “I just think that if you want to have a chance with him, you should ask. I mean, his kids already like you and he trusts you so what could you lose?”


	4. 4

Dan hadn’t heard from Phil in about two weeks. After having the man appear at his bed foot, ready to rescue Dan in distress (really it was just a minor virus), Dan was surprised that Phil seemed to be ignoring him. He would send texts to check up on the other man but nothing resulted from them. Even the children grew a little concerned.

That is, of course, until Phil showed up once again.

“I need you to watch them,” he said to Dan, who was on his way out. The children were on summer holiday so he was by himself that morning.

“Good morning,” Dan coughed in surprised. “Nice to see you aren’t dead!”

Phil was still on the phone as he gestured to his kids standing behind him with their backpacks stuffed. Cara had her pink blanket.

“Come in, guys,” Dan said to them with a smile. After all, it wasn’t their fault their father was a jerk. “Go ahead into the lounge. You know where it is.” Colin and Cara did as Dan said, letting their back packs fall before they went further into the house.

As soon Phil turned his attention back to him, Dan said, “What’s going on, Phil?”

“Look, I got a call this morning about an opening to go to Nepal, India and Tibet. I can’t pass it up. It’s all expense paid and it’s perfect for my next book which is supposed to be Asia—.”

“You can’t just drop your kids off like laundry and pick them up when you’re ready for them!” Dan reminded him loudly.

“You can handle it and I know they like it here. Dan, please I’m begging you!”

Dan practically dragged Phil inside by his sleeve. Phil could not actually believe he could do this. He had to be more reasonable than this surely. “Phil, everything isn’t always about you! You have children and you can’t do this. You can’t just go off when you feel like it. They need stability.”

“I know what they need, Dan! They need a roof over their heads and food in their stomachs. I am trying to my job and if you can think of a better way to write about travelling to Asia without actually going, please let me know!”

“I have a job too,” Dan said in a harsh whisper, not wanting to wake up his own children or frighten the little visitors. “And a family of my own. I haven’t heard from you in weeks and you just expect me to drop everything so you can do what you want to do? Does that make any sense Phil?”

“Are you going to keep them or not? I have to make plans. The flight is tonight.”

Dan rolled his eyes and sighed. “How long will you be gone?”

“Three weeks,” he said rushed, with a bit of hope.

Dan glared at Phil but eventually threw up his hands in defeat. “They can stay.” Phil let out a breath and began his thanks. “Hey, calm down. I’m still angry with you.”

“You’re the best. Really! They’re really no trouble at all.”

“You’ll need to leave me a detailed list of what I should know.”

Phil blinked twice. Dan rolled his eyes again. “You are so new to parenthood, it’s a shame. Give me a list of likes, dislikes, fears, allergies, favorite foods, doctors and people I should contact in case of emergency.”

“Oh!” Phil exclaimed. “I can do that… I think.”

Dan had Phil sit down at the kitchen counter and write the list as he went upstairs to wake and warn her of their visitors.

“Nadia?” he called knocking on her door. She incoherently mumbled back something about leaving her alone or else before turning over in her sleep. Dan stepped in closer and called her again. “Nadia, love, wake up. I need to talk to you.”

His daughter brought her duvet up over her head to avoid him further. Dan sighed and walked over to her bed. “Cara and Colin are staying with us for a while because Phil is going on a trip,” he began. “As usual you’re in charge.”

The duvet was tossed over suddenly and Nadia sat up with a confused look on her face. “What I am supposed to do? Huh? When did I suddenly become mummy to four children, Dad? Am I mother goose now?”

“I know it’s a lot to ask but there’s really no other option at this point. We both have to work so we have to depend on you.”

“Ugh! You know, I hope he asks you out because this is really a lot for nothing.”

“What does that mean?” Dan asked confused.

“Nothing, Dad.”

“Call me later, okay? I’m off.”

***

Phil had left a very short list which mostly consisted of his ex-in-laws phone numbers mostly for reference as they lived hours away all over the country. Nadia had almost little trouble with Phil’s kids. It was her own siblings that tore through the house, knocking things over. It was Robbie who played football in the house. It was Shayla who decided to paint the walls. Cara and Colin only seemed to take enjoyment in her pain. She let it slide as it seemed to her they had so little fun in their lives.

Dan had spent part of day thinking the children. He spent most of the day thinking about Phil. Did he know what it meant to be a parent, at all? He didn’t seem to have any sense of it. Phil was stuck in his own world, one way or another. Dan could see that the other man did have a heart and have feelings, but they were buried deep within him. Selfish and self-centered were probable traits of the blue-eyed writer but Dan could not believe that, especially not after Phil came over when he was ill.

Then there was the comment Nadia made that morning. Dan never considered dating Phil until that day. He hadn’t thought about how attractive Phil was. He certainly hadn’t thought about asking if they could go out for coffee because, really, Phil interested him. Of course there was the question of his sexuality. It was obvious he liked women to some degree but what about men? What about Dan? Would he like tired brown eyes and a crushed work shirt with a collar that could use some good ironing? His questions would remain unanswered until Phil came back.

***

Routine came easily somehow. Five children did take some getting used to, like making new sleeping arrangements and separating laundry differently. But the family made due. Colin practically clung to Robbie like a big brother and Cara was taken with Dan. She loved when he’d read to her and Shay at night and she loved how he kissed her goodbye just like his own. Dan had thought it sweet at first but her need for affection concerned him. When Phil had called to check in with them from India, neither child had any interest in speaking to him. Dan had lied and said they had had a long day and that was the reason why. The silence that came after made it painfully clear that they did not miss their father.

On the last night before Phil was set to return, Colin complained of a pain in his side. Dan checked in forehead and felt that the boy was warm, feverish. When he pressed his hand gently against the boy’s right side, Colin shrieked. Once again, Dan left Nadia in charge as he rushed the boy to A&E.

***

Phil made his way through A&E. It was all too familiar, the sight and smells. The last time he’d been here, the world didn’t look the same afterwards. He didn’t want that to happen again.

“How is he?” he asked in a panic as he approached Dan and sat down.

“He’s still in surgery. It’s appendicitis. He’ll be fine.”

“Oh thank god,” Phil sighed bring his hands to his face. “You know, I didn’t get your message until I landed and wow. What a horrible thing to come home too, yeah? To hear your kid’s in A&E and to come quick.”

Dan nodded in agreement. He’d be in tears by now if he were in Phil’s shoes. “How was the trip?” Dan inquired.

“Good. Good. I got a lot to write about and photos to publish alongside everything. But you don’t really care about my trip do you?”

Dan shrugged nonchalantly. He was still a little upset with Phil for treating his children like unwanted luggage.

“What’d I do now?” Phil groaned childishly. He had stubble on his chin and cheeks. Dan couldn’t say he didn’t look downright adorable like this, all tired and scruffy.

“Cara didn’t want you to come home. That what she told me daughter and then repeated to me with ease. Mind you, she didn’t mean she wished you dead. She simply wanted to live with us instead of her own father.”

Phil hummed, “Hmm…” and looked thoughtfully at his hands.

“Is that all you have to say?”

Dan continued before Phil could reply. “Your children are so starved for love. They’re still grieving and you haven’t done a thing to help them through this. Then, when you’re ready, you take off for nearly a bloody month!”

“I love my kids, Dan!”

“You don’t show it very well at all,” Dan said with some much strength that he surprised even himself. “You don’t seem to know anything about them. Did you know Colin is allergic to strawberries? You didn’t write that down on the list. Did you know Cara has a scar on her leg from climbing the tree in her Nan’s backyard? And that she had to get stitches? No. I bet you didn’t. Did you know she cries if someone tries to brush her hair because that was her mother’s job?”

“I know the important stuff! I am their father and I will be taking them home as soon as possible. I’m sorry I infringed on your perfect house of parenting.”

Dan scoffed and rolled his eyes. Phil made him do that a lot.

The doctor came out to speak to Dan and Phil made it very clear that he was in fact that child’s father and sole guardian. Colin had come out of surgery and was doing just fine.

***

“Cara, come along,” Phil said once more. The child pouted and stood behind Nadia, who after soon many weeks together, was just like a big sister.

“Now.” Phil said strongly.

Her lip quivered and before anyone knew it, Cara was crying.

“Phil, I don’t think she wants to go home,” Nadia whispered to him.

“I am her father and she will do what I say. Cara, let’s go.”

“No!” she cried.                                                                                              

Phil closed his eyes in frustration. “I will give you to the count of three, Cara Lester.”

“No, no, no!”

“One…”

“It’ll be okay,” Nadia told her is a hushed whisper to try to calm her.

“Two…”

“Wanna stay here with you,” Cara sobbed.

“Three.”

“Can she stay, Phil? Even for just one more night?” Nadia pleaded with him. Dan stepped in then.

“We need to talk.”

Phil grabbed Cara’s bag from the floor. “No, we don’t.”

Cara still clung to Nadia’s leg as Phil’s reached for her.

“Phil, we need to talk right now.” Dan said again. The other man stood up straight and raised his hands in surrender.

He said, “Fine,” following Dan into the living room and taking a seat. Dan sat next to him hoping that it wasn’t uncomfortable.

“First, I’d like to say sorry for what happened at the hospital. You didn’t need to hear that right then,” Dan started. “I know you’re trying.”

The anger seemed to drain from Phil’s face and he was suddenly soft again. “I am trying. This is all really new to me, Dan. I’ve been all over the world, met so many different people but I don’t know the people I love the most.”

“They want to know you too.” Dan laid his hand on Phil’s shoulder and looked at him thoughtfully. “We all do but you’re never here and when you are you seem to be off in your own world.”

Phil gave him a smile. “I have to apologize for all of this. They’re my responsibility and I’ve just dumped all this on you and your family.”

“It’s okay,” Dan said smiling now. “We had fun. And really you should be apologizing to Nadia. She’s done most of the work with almost no complaint.”

“Claudia was like that,” Phil murmured.

“Claudia?”

“My ex-wife,” Phil replied softly. “She did everything in our marriage. She even tried to fix it but I was off to the African savanna or some place and when I got back, there were divorce papers on the coffee table. Four years later, she’s gone and everything is so wrong. Cara and Colin should not be living with me. They need someone like you, who knows what they’re doing—,”

“I’m making it up as I go along,” Dan chuckled quietly. “You get better with practice. Trust me. You just have to try. After Jason died, I thought I could never do it on my own. He was our rock for so long. My family helped me and we’re doing okay now.”

“Dan?”

“Yeah, Phil?”

“I’d like to try… with your help,” Phil said timidly. “Get to know them and maybe even get to know you too.”

Dan blushed and nodded. “I think that’s a great idea.”


	5. 5

“We have news for you all,” Dan began as Phil stood next to him. The kids were all together in Dan’s living room. Dan and Phil had been out on a date once again so, of course, Nadia volunteered to babysit. Not that she would refuse. She thought their relationship was perfect and couldn’t be any happier for them.

“We’re going to get married,” Phil said after a moment.

The children gasped and the girls immediately shrieked, the loudest being Nadia who jumped out of her seat to hug them both. The others soon followed. Dan and Phil both laughed at their reaction. They really didn’t know what to expect. For the past year or so, the children were all okay with knowing their fathers were dating and might possibly become something more.

“It’s going to be a small ceremony in the garden with a few people,” Dan went on.

“Who asked who?” Robbie asked.

“I asked,” Phil offered.

“Let’s see the ring!” Nadia said excitedly. Dan put out his left hand and the small crowd awed at the diamond on his finger. “It’s beautiful!”

Cara pulled on Dan’s sleeve to get his attention as she was still as shy as ever.

“Yes?” he asked, smiling down at the girl.

“Does this make you my daddy too?” she asked earnestly. Dan looked to Phil for a moment and Phil nodded, smiling back.

“Yes, it does.”

Her smile widened as Shayla told her that they would be sisters now and live in the same house and everything. As the celebration continued, Dan and Phil both breathed a sigh of relief. Dan was happy only if his children were happy. For Phil, knowing that Dan really loved him, Phil Lester, was enough to make him feel as if he’d died and gone to heaven.

***

“We’re going to be a big family, you know?”

Phil laughed. “I never thought I’d be a father of two much less five.”

Dan snuggled up next to him in bed trying to get warmer and closer. “I bet you never thought you’d be doing this.”

“What?”

“Getting married to a man?”

Phil sighed heavily. “I’d thought about it so many times when I was younger but I made myself just ignore all the feelings. You know how I avoid anything difficult?”

“Yeah,” Dan nodded. “I do.”

“I forced myself to be straight, to pretend to be only attracted to women. And I am attracted to women… Just… I don’t know.”

“I know what you mean,” Dan said looking up at Phil with a smile. “Coming out is tough, especially when you’re so young.”

“It kept me from being happy for so long. When I married Claudia it was because it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. We were fresh out of Uni and we’d been together for so long so I just asked her and all of a sudden I was standing at the alter saying ‘I do’.”

“Why are you marrying me?” Dan asked softly.

“What?”

“You heard me, Phil. Why are you marrying me?”

Phil took a deep breath and pulled Dan on top of him so that the other man was straddling him. He looked into Dan’s eyes and truth shined in them. “I love you.” Phil inched closer to Dan’s lips and kissed his fiancé with tenderness. “For once,” he mumbled on his lips.

“For once, I don’t care what anyone else thinks about any of this. You love me in spite of everything and all your faults are perfection to me. Because of you, I see the world through sparkling glass. Dan, have you ever been bored with your own story? I was until the protagonist met this amazing love interest.” Dan blushed and kissed the tip of Phil’s nose as the man continued. “I love everything about you. I love how you yell at me for not staying home enough. I love you for making me want to come home to you. I love you for making me hate my job. If I could write books about travelling to the Tesco’s down the street, I would just so I would never leave you.”

“That’s what I get for loving a writer, huh?” Dan joked, laughing into their kiss.

Phil only deepened the kiss.

***

There were so many plans to make. Phil was selling his house and Dan was trying to find a bigger one that could hold all of them. As it was, Nadia was already sharing a room with her baby sister. Adding another child would not end well for the teenager.

One morning when Phil had finally gotten a chance to call his parents, Dan finally saw what made him so apprehensive about seeking a relationship with another male. Phil sat at the table waiting for someone to answer. Dan was working on breakfast which would be American pancakes.

“Hello? Yeah, Dad. It’s me, Phil… Get mum on the phone too. I want to talk to both of you.”

Dan made sure to make as little noise as possible.

“Listen, I have some news. I’m getting married next month. Yeah, I know it’s sudden. Her name? Uh…”

Phil took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Dan stopped stirring the batter and came to his side for support.

“His name is Dan… We’ve been seeing each other for over a year.” Phil looked up at his fiancé to find the man’s soft features in a comforting expression. “I’ve always liked men, Dad. I just happened to like women as well… I’m not being a smart ass… Sorry… Please don’t call me that. Dad… Please… Dad? Mum?”

“What happened?” Dan asked softly, rubbing Phil’s back.

“They hung up.”

“What else?”

Phil crinkled his nose and brushed it off. “They’re not happy. Oh well. We’re getting married anyway. It doesn’t really matter.”

“But, Phil? Did you want them there?”

“No,” Phil said, shaking his head. “No, I want my family there and you all are my family.”

Dan leant down to lay a kiss on Phil’s lips.

“Ugh! Do you guys have to do that all the time?” Colin grimaced playfully. Dan and Phil chuckled. They went about their day, trying to forget that phone call.

***

Dan had been thinking, as always, and had a question to ask Phil. To be honest, he wasn’t sure what he wanted the answer to be. He sat Phil down one afternoon when the house was quiet for once.

“We’ve both lost our partners and luckily our children still had us.”

“What’s this about?”

“But what would happen if one of us dies? My children, under the law, aren’t yours even though they call you ‘Papa’ and your children aren’t mine even though I love them just as much as my own.”

“You want to adopt Cara and Colin?” Phil asked.

“And I want you to adopt my three,” Dan clarified. “I don’t want them separated or anything if something happened. What do you think?”

“To tell you the truth, I’ve been thinking about it too.”

Dan smiled because clearly he’d found the best man in the world to be husband.

Phil continued, “I think it only makes sense. If anything were to happen to me, I have a feeling my parents would take them away without a second thought.”

“So we’re going to be the Howell-Lesters? Like officially?” Dan asked.

“Why does your name go first?” Phil pouted childishly.

“Fine,” Dan gave in, rolling his eyes. “The Lester-Howells.”

***

Cara came first. She stepped in time with music and threw the flowers with care. Her black hair was in a bun with tendrils falling out. She wore a flower crown of blue and white. In her white dress, Phil swore she looked like a miniature bride and he nearly teared up at the thought of his little one getting married. Cara looked determined coming down the aisle and the crowd cooed and awed at how adorable she looked.

Then came Shayla, whose dark brown curls sat on her shoulders and back. As the wedding march played, she seemed to be humming along which made Phil chuckle. She smiled at him when she realized what she was doing. She, too, wore a flower crown and little white dress.

Colin was the ring bearer. He kept a straight face as he marched and finally smiled when Phil winked at him. Nadia and Robbie came down the aisle arm in arm. She wore a light blue dress and him, a black tuxedo like Phil’s. Her bouquet had been a mix if blue and white flowers and she was tearful. The guests rose when it was Dan’s turn to walk down the aisle. He and Phil had agreed to do it this way because Dan always did like to be the center of attention.

Phil had to wipe away a tear when Dan’s gaze met his. His husband-to-be looked absolutely gorgeous. Dan blew him a kiss as he marched and the guests awed and cooed at them. At the altar, the vicar started the ceremony by having the two men hold hands because this was a journey they would experience together, from the very start, he explained. “Welcome everyone. Dan and Phil have chosen you, those special and important to them, to witness and celebrate the beginning of their life together. Today, as we create this marriage, we also create a new bond and new sense of family - one that will undoubtedly include all who are present here today.”

The ceremony went beautifully. When it was time for the vows Phil slipped the gold wedding band on Dan’s hand as he said, “With this ring, I, Philip Lester, take you, Daniel Howell to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, to honor and be faithful to, in sickness and in health, for rich and for poorer, until death do us part.”

Dan followed by saying, “With this ring, I, Daniel H-Howell, take you, Philip Lester, to be my lawfully w-wedded husband, to have and to hold, to honor and be faithful to, in sickness and in health, for rich and for poorer, until death do us part.” Dan had been crying all through it but managed. Phil wiped away his happy tears.

Nadia stood by with a small packet of tissues, knowing her and her father’s emotions. As soon as Dan was composed again, the ceremony continued. Then the vicar finally said, “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husbands. You may now kiss to seal the union.”

Phil brought Dan closer to him and kissed him deeply, his hands on Dan’s cheeks. Phil still couldn’t believe Dan was all his… his…

“Congratulations, Daddy!” he heard Cara shout.

…and theirs.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr  
> [danni-howell](https://danni-howell.tumblr.com/)


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